Bila aku tengah focus, mula la datang tawaran-tawaran yang mengganggu hati dan focus aku. Dah buat aku jadi serba salah, macam mana ni...
Memang aku kena buat sembahyang istiharah...
Sebab aku memang tak pandai buat pilihan, biar segalanya Tuhan yang tentukan...
peperangan minda sedang berlaku, di antara cita-cita, harapan, impian dan tanggungjawab.
Segala aspek kehidupan ini bermula daripada hati. Oleh itu, dibawah ini ada beberapa cara bagaimana hendak mencuci hati, diolah oleh pakar motivasi Datuk Dr. Haji Fadzilah Kamsah.
1. Dirikan solat dan banyakkan berdo'a - Ini adalah salah satu kaedah yang sungguh berkesan. Semasa berdo'a turut katakan: "Ya Allah, jadikan hatiku bersih."
2. Selawat keatas Nabi Muhammad s.a.w paling minima 100X sebelum tidur. Ini merupakan satu pelaburan yang mudah dan murah. Disamping dosa-dosa diampunkan, otak tenang,murah rezeki, orang sayangkan kita dan mencetuskan semua perkara kebaikan....
3 Solat taubat - Selain daripada memohon keampunan, dapat mencuci hati dan menenangkan minda.
4 Membaca Al-Quran - Selain dapat mencuci hati juga menenangkan jiwa, penyembuh, penenang, terapi. Sekurang- kurangnya bacalah "Qulhu-allah" sebanyak 3X.
5 Berma'af-ma' afan sesama kawan setiap hari - Semasa meminta maaf perlu sebutkan.
6. Bisikan kepada diri perkara yang positif - Jangan sesekali mengkritik, kutuk diri sendiri, merendah-rendahkan kebolehan diri sendiri. Katakan lah: "Aku sebenarnya.. ....(perkara yang elok2 belaka).
7. Program minda/cuci minda - Paling baik pada waktu malam sebelum tidur, senyum, pejam mata. Katakan didalam hati: "Ya Allah, cuci otak aku, cuci hatiku. Esok aku nak jadi baik, berjaya, ceria, bersemangat, aktif, positif." Menurut kajian psikologi, apa yang disebut sebelum tidur dapat dirakamkan sepanjang tidur sehingga keesokan harinya - CUBALAH!!)
8. Berpuasa - Sekiranya dalam berpuasa, terhindar dari melakukan perkara2 kejahatan.
9. Cuba ingat tentang mati (Sekiranya hendak melakukan sesuatu kejahatan, tidak sampai hati kerana bimbang akan mati bila2 masa)
10. Kekalkan wuduk.
11. Bersedekah.
12. Belanja orang makan.
13. Jaga makanan - jangan makan makanan yang subhat (was2, tidak pasti halal atau tidak).
14. Berkawan dengan ulama.
15. Berkawan dengan orang miskin (menginsafi).
16. Pesan pada orang, jadi baik.
17. Menjaga pancaindera (mata, telinga, mulut.. dsb). Jangan dengar orang mengumpat.
"Sampaikanlah pesanan ini walaupun 1 ayat."
Insyaallah aku akan gunakan panduan ini untuk membaiki diri, mungkin tak mampu untuk ikut semuanya, pelan-pelanla.... skit2 :)
"A few years ago I was asked by several Ph.D. students what advice I could give to finish a Ph.D. While I don't think there is only one answer I do have some principles that worked well for me- if you are a current PhD student hopefully you will find this useful also. If you have any comments or suggestions, I'd love to hear from you. Over the years I have received many positive comments from Ph.D. students from the U.S., Canada, and as far as China and Korea. Several students have linked this site form their sites. Thank you so much for your feedback. It means a lot to me that some of my thoughts made a difference to you."
Begin with the end in mind
I found it always helpful to know what my overall goal was. During my PH.D. I aimed to finish in my Ph.D. in 3 years. I didn't make that in the end - it took 4 years - but that isn't important. The important thing is that I knew in order to make 3 years I had to do a certain course load in the first and second term , I had to take the comprehensive exam the first time it was offered, I had a rough idea of how much time I had to write the dissertation. There are road blocks along the way and things turn out different than you expect. But if you know your overall goal obstacles won't through you off the course, you are just taking a detour.
You have no obligation to write an important or even useful thesis
Sometimes students set out to write this all-encompassing break-through thesis and then fail because they try to accomplish too much at once. Very few researchers achieve fame because of their dissertation work. Try to write a good dissertation, not a great dissertation. Further, don't insist on writing a useful thesis. Your primary goal is to get a Ph.D. , not to change the world. There is enough time for changing the world after your dissertation when you have less constraints about what criteria your work has to meet.
Write!
A psychology student told me once that he spends the entire day doing research and then forces himself at the end of the day to summarize what he found - even if he doesn't think he found anything that day. This is important for several reasons : (a) writing helps your thoughts to crystallize (b) you accomplish your daily task which will make you feel good (c) you can track your progress (d) when you write your thesis you have material to draw on (e) you won't forget what you were thinking two weeks ago. In my opinion most students start too late putting their thoughts into words.
Exercise regularly
I have always found I can work better when I am physically in good shape. During stressful times such as exams, I exercise more often rather than less often. The energy I get from exercise more than compensates for the "time lost".
Enjoy your "play time"
There is a time to work and a time to play. I try to work hard when I work, and not to think at all about work when I don't work. For example, every year I fly home to Germany for Christmas. I never take work to Germany. All that would accomplish is that I would feel bad the whole time about not doing the work. When you have worked hard all week and can afford to take the week-end off, try to get out and do something fun. Try not to think about work at all.
Talk to others about your problems
After finishing his Ph.D. a social scientist at an Ivy League university told me once that at some point during his Ph.D. he had so much dissertation anxiety that he went to see a psychologist at the medical center. To his surprise the waiting room for the psychologist was packed and he recognized several other people. Everyone was there for the same reason. He later emailed one of the students he saw whether he wanted to talk about it . Within 10 minutes he got a reply email : the other student was just as desperate to talk about it. Most Ph.D. students at some point or another have problems - talking to fellow students or professors almost always helps. You are not alone. (The above mentioned student graduated smoothly and now excels working at a very prestigious institution).
Record your progress
Sometime during my second year of my Ph.D. I started writing down every week-end what I had accomplished during the preceeding week. I took great care in this and I often reread what I had done in the past few weeks. This weekly ritual became very important to me and motivated me a great deal. Sometimes in the middle of the week I would realize that I hadn't accomplished anything to be recorded at the end of the week and I would make sure I would get something done. In addition, I kept a list of things to do at the white board and marked each item off once I had done it. I wouldn't erase it until a few days later though - because that gave me the satisfaction of seeing what I had accomplished already. I still follow this habit to this day. During a Ph.D. you often try something and it doesn't work in the end. That can be frustrating - but I feel that tracking what you have done helps to overcome this frustration. The path to success has unexpected twists and turns in a Ph.D. - and while a failed attempt looks like no progress it really is.
Don't find excuses - don't do too many other important things.
Some of the brightest students sometimes have trouble finishing because they are so successful doing other things that may reasonably also be considered important. A very bright young fellow I know kept taking on temporary consulting jobs working for the UN in Brazil and all kind of other exciting and useful jobs. Working for the UN in Brazil is a great experience and you may not want to pass it up. But at some point finishing your Ph.D. outweighs taking on extra consulting jobs.
Choose a dissertation topic you are passionate about
You will do your best work when you work on a topic that you really care about. This not always possible - but if you have the choice go for it. Also, it is better to come up with your own thesis topic rather than having your supervisor find you a thesis topic. You will find it easier to care deeply about a thesis topic that you came up with yourself.
Work on your strengths, not on your weaknesses
I was once fortunate enough to have a brunch with the famous statistician Erich Lehman - organized by Agnes Herzberg in Kingston, Ontario. Dr. Lehman had an unusual career and had many things to say. I will never forget the following advice he gave : when in England the professors noticed that his background in mathematics was much stronger than in physics. They therefore forced him to take extra classes in physics. On hindsight Dr. Lehman felt that that was a big mistake. He didn't have any passion for physics and he claims he wasn't good at it either - so there was an extraordinary effort going into something that wasn't necessary. There may be situations where our passion requires us to work on something we are not good at. For example, my friend Fiona was never interested in any handyman work. However, she was a theatre major and some point she had to know technical theatre operations. And when it was relevant to theatre, she all of the sudden took an interest in handyman work as it related to theatrical set construction. Unless necessary though I always thought that it was good advice to work on one's strengths - because otherwise we'll be constantly disillusioned and frustrated.
Take charge - it's your life not your supervisor's
I have always found taking an active role leads to better results than a passive or reactive role. It makes life more exciting. For those of us who like playing computer games - it's like the difference of playing the game and watching the game. Playing is just more fun.
Do what is right for you - including the choice of discontinuing your Ph.D.
A Ph.D. is not for everyone and I think not to continue a Ph.D. ought to be one of your options. I am most impressed with Judy whom I met during my time as a student. She successfully mastered the comprehensive exam, and then decided that she wasn't really all that interested in research. I still hear her say "You know, it's not for everyone" - not disappointed but just matter of fact. She is happier now. However , I do think you should only quit because you have come to the conclusion that you do not enjoy research, not because "it's overwhelming", "it's too much work", or "I don't know whether I can do it" or "I don't like my supervisor". People can do more than they think - they just have to really try.
source: http://www.schonlau.net/finishphd.html
::Lakukan apa yang kita suka dengan yakin dan gembira!::
Rasanya tiap2 orang akan ada beberapa kemahiran atau bakat atau keperibadian ataupun juga minat yang mendalam pada sesuatu perkara lebih daripada orang lain. Benda tu semuanya ada dalam diri kita secara semulajadi, kadang-kadang kita pun tak pernah tau yang kita memiliki 'something', sebab kita tak pernah cuba nak explore segala macam anugerah yang Tuhan hadiahkan kepada kita secara tersembunyi... Kebanyakan yang kita tau apa yang ada depan mata saja, mostly the physical parts... heheh. Ye la barulah ade trill skit kalau camtu, takkan semua nak terbentang depan mata.
Love this song, the lyrics, love Noh, Lan... ngeh, ngeh, ngeh
Best giler lagu ni... pembakar semangat!!!
Tak pernah sesaat daku meragui
Apa yang telah daku temui selama ini
Tak pernah sesaat daku menyesali
Apa yang telah aku nikmati
Apa ku alami
Selagi hayat dikandung badan
(korus)
Takkan ku menyerah kalah walau mimpiku musnah
Harapanku hancur sayapku patah
Kan ku pancarkan cahaya seperti pelita
Ke serata dunia yang gelap gelita
Sehingga hembusan nafas yang terakhir
Tak pernah sesaat aku mencurigai
Apa yang telah aku kecapi setakat ini
Tiba saatnya kan ku tangisi
Pada yang pergi takkan kembali
Kembali lagi
Selagi hayat dikandung badan
(korus)
Takkan ku menyerah kalah walau mimpiku musnah
Harapanku hancur sayapku patah
Kan ku pancarkan cahaya seperti pelita
Ke serata dunia yang gelap gelita
Sehingga hembusan nafas yang terakhir
Selagi jasadku belum terkubur
Selagi tubuhku belum ditimpa uzur
Pantang datuk nenek moyangku berundur
(korus)
Takkan ku menyerah kalah walau mimpiku musnah
Harapanku hancur sayapku patah
Akan ku pancar cahaya seperti pelita ke seluruh dunia
Akan ku pancar cahaya seperti pelita ke serata dunia
Seperti cahaya
Tapi sejak dah aktif ni, Hannah dah tak berapa suka makan, nasi pun skit, so berat badan pun dah susah nak naik...
Semalam balik dari UTP, sampai umah macam biasa terus main2 dengan Hannah, lupa skejap penat 1h driving. tengok dia gelak, jerit pekik, lari sana sini... semua beban di kepala aku pun hilang entah kemana. tq sayang, U such a good therapy for mama. tak payah mama spend untuk therapy kat mana2... hihihi
Tengah aku relek2 tu, emak bgtau maksu ada call, paksu baru lepas check-up, sepatutnya dia menunggu tarikh for next operation untuk sambungkan usus dia semula... tapi lain pula cerita. sedih sangat bila emak cakap yang Dr bgtau cancer cell tu dah spread out ke hati pula. OMG, Tuhanku besarnya dugaan ini. Satu lagi checkup akan dibuat, kalau tak byk cell cancer pada hati, masih boleh operate buang cancer cell pada hati tu, tapi kalau dah terlalu banyak, tiada apa yang dapat dilakukan. mak cakap, paksu taknak operate buang hati tu, biar apepun keputusannya...
Tergamam aku. sepatah perkataan pun tak terucap dari mulut aku waktu tu. aku tak tau ape patut aku cakap. yang menanbahkan sedih, mak bgtau lagi, kebetulan Tini (anak sulung paksu di Mesir) call paksu nak tanye result checkup tu... nak tak nak diorang kena juga bgtau, supaya andai sesuatu terjadi, dia dah bersedia, for at least!. Ya Allah, Maha Besar Engkau, betapa kecilnya aku, rasanya takterdaya untuk dugaan sebesar ini...
Malam tadi, walaupun byk aktiviti aku buat, namun hati kecil ni tak berhenti asyik terfikir pasal paksu. kesian, sedih, sayu, pilu, semua dah bercampur baur. Apa yang aku mampu buat? aku hanya dapat mendoakan segala yang terbaik buat paksu, aku doakan semoga dia diberi kesihatan yang berpanjangan, dimudahkan segala urusan. dia orang baik, semoga dia tabah menghadapi ujian terhebat ini...
Semalam hari IBU, EMAK, MOMMY... slamat sejahtera untuk emak, semoga emak bertambah sihat, bertambah ceria, bertambah bahagia... semoga segala keindahan di dunia ini dihadiahkan kepada Emak!
Aku bersyukur dianugerahkan seorang emak yang amat penyayang... (rasanya semua emak dalam dunia ni macam tu..) Emak bukan saje menjaga aku masa aku kecil aje, malah sampai sekarang pun masih dok jaga aku lagi.. heheh. mak tinggal dengan aku :) so walaupun aku juga bergelar 'mama' skarang, but still aku anak mak. aku still makan masakan mak tiap2 hari, aku still dengar suara mak tiap2 hari, still mak kejut aku bangun pagi kadang2... still mak urut perut aku time aku sakit perut, still mak tolong kemas bilik aku kalau aku kuar rumah awal tapi Hannah still tido lagi... bangak lagi yang aku masih merasai nikmat bersama emak... Ahamdulillah Ya Rabbi, nikmat terbaik Mu amatlah aku syukuri.
Slalu aku terfikir, atas segala kebaikan emak pada aku adik-beradik, juga pada aku dan keluargaku (Mr hubby n Hannah), apa yang emak dapat??? kalau emak tak susah payah layan kami pun kami tetap sayang emak, tatap bg 'elaun' bulanan, tetap bawak mak jalan2.... dan tetap mak adalah segalanya! ayat biasa aku time mak sibuk2 masak macam2 bila tau adik beradik aku nak balik... " udahle mak, wat ape nak susah2 sangat..." tapi sebenarnya apa yang kita tak tau ialah, segala benda yang kita anggap susah tu, sebenarnya mak gembira lakukan untuk anak-anaknya. pada mata kita nampak susah, tapi pada hati mak, dia rasa bangga, gembira dapat buat segala-gala untuk anak-anaknya. gembira bila anak cucu menjamah masakan air tangan dia, hilang segala penat lelah bila cucu puji masakan 'killer' dia.. hehehe, ini tugas anak Yong yang memang suka memuji orang... bodek le, tapi rasanya budak-budak tu ikhlas....
Aku lagi faham bila aku 'menjadi' ibu. bila Hannah lahir, when my 1st time saw her, hati dah tersentuh, outomatik dah set in mind, aku akan beri segalanya pada dia, akan cuba buat segala yang terbaik untuknya. Ujian pertama aku, rasanya umur Hannah dalam 3minggu, time potong kuku dia yang comel aku terkepit skit isi, berdarah skit jari dia, huwaaaaa..... aku yang menangis lama, dia menangis kejap aje, rasanya nak aje aku potong jari aku kalau itu boleh buat dia tak sakit. Sedih betul, rasanya berhari-hari gak la aku rasa bersalah...
Banyak lagi, tapi tak sanggup nak tulis dah, rasanya ter'menangis' aku jap lagi... gelak je member2 lab aku ni kang!
tapi yang pasti aku amat lah rasa bersyukur, dalam usia begini, masih dapat merasai kasih sayang emak dan emak mertua...
